Dear Harriette is a daily syndicated advice column authored by lifestyle expert, author, and coach Harriette Cole. Hosted digitally by Andrews McMeel Syndication on UExpress, the column provides practical, empathetic, and culturally conscious guidance on personal relationships, workplace conduct, family dynamics, and contemporary social etiquette.
The Role of Dear Harriette in Syndicated Advice
The American advice column has served as a cultural mirror and personal compass for over a century. Distributed through Andrews McMeel Syndication and hosted digitally on the UExpress lifestyle hub, the column delivers practical advice rooted in empathy, accountability, and practical problem-solving. While traditional advice columns often leaned heavily on rigid Victorian protocol or sardonic humor, Harriette Cole established an approach that synthesizes modern boundary-setting with compassionate interpersonal communication.
Readers seeking guidance on interpersonal friction, marital disputes, generational divides, or professional career plateaus read the column across hundreds of print newspapers and digital platforms. Syndicated alongside established features such as Dear Abby and Miss Manners, this column maintains a distinct editorial voice focused on personal integrity, practical de-escalation, and emotional health.
Author Profile: Who Is Harriette Cole?
Harriette Cole established a prominent career in national media, publishing, and executive leadership development before launching her syndicated column. Her professional background informs the structured, emotionally intelligent guidance found in her daily responses.
Cole earned nationwide acclaim for her work as the lifestyle editor and fashion director at Essence magazine. During her tenure, she focused on holistic representations of lifestyle, grooming, and cultural identity. She later served as the creative director of Ebony magazine and launched her own multimedia production and coaching firm, Harriette Cole Media.
Key Literary and Professional Credentials
- Author of Landmark Etiquette Books: Cole authored How to Be: A Guide to Contemporary Etiquette for African Americans, Jumping the Broom: The African American Wedding Planner, and 108 Stitches: Words of Wisdom to Stitch Your Life Together.
- Media and Executive Coaching: She has prepared corporate executives, recording artists, and public figures for high-stakes public speaking, crisis communication, and brand representation.
- Television and Broadcasting Contributor: She regularly contributes lifestyle and interpersonal expertise to national morning broadcasts, public radio programs, and panel discussions.
Her combined experience in publishing and corporate executive coaching sets her apart from purely observational commentators. When readers present professional impasses or family estrangements, Cole analyzes both the emotional underpinnings and the pragmatic outcomes of each potential choice.
Core Pillars of the Column: Modern Etiquette and Communication
The daily advice published on UExpress centers on four key pillars that reflect the realities of contemporary society:
1. Clear Boundaries Without Aggression
A recurring theme in the column is establishing healthy boundaries with invasive in-laws, manipulative colleagues, or overstepping romantic partners. Cole discourages passive-aggressive silence and aggressive confrontations alike. Instead, she provides readers with clear, scripts they can use to assert their limits calmly while preserving interpersonal dignity.
2. Workplace Protocol and Professionalism
Drawing on her corporate coaching background, Cole treats office dilemmas with commercial pragmatism. Readers regularly ask about navigating passive-aggressive supervisors, managing career pivots, avoiding toxic corporate gossip, and maintaining professional decorum while working remotely or in hybrid environments.
3. Digital Etiquette and Screen-Era Social Norms
Modern communication often breaks down across electronic channels. The column addresses digital dilemmas that traditional etiquette guides never anticipated, such as:
- Managing family conflicts caused by public social media posts.
- Navigating smartphone usage and private messaging within romantic partnerships.
- Professional norms for video conferencing, group messaging apps, and after-hours text chains.
4. Cultural Consciousness and Family Dynamics
Cole recognizes that standard social templates do not fit every cultural background. Her answers account for blended family structures, multi-generational households, socioeconomic stressors, and diverse community expectations, offering actionable advice that respects the reader's lived reality.
How to Submit a Question to Dear Harriette
Getting a personal dilemma answered in a syndicated column requires clarity, focus, and adherence to editorial standards. Thousands of letters arrive monthly, but only a small selection are selected for syndication and publication across the UExpress network.
Submission Step-by-Step Process
- Draft a Concise Narrative: Restrict your question to 150 to 300 words. Columns have strict space limits, so lengthy, rambling submissions are often set aside in favor of focused queries.
- Define the Central Conflict: Clearly identify the core issue early in the letter. State the key people involved, the specific incident that triggered the conflict, and what outcome you hope to achieve.
- Include a Clear Sign-off: Sign your letter with a distinctive, relevant pseudonym (for example, Exhausted In-Law, Mid-Career Dilemma, or Boundaries in Boston).
- Send Via Official Channels: Letters can be submitted directly via email to dearharriette@harriettecole.com or through the syndicated submission portal on the UExpress website. Readers may also send traditional mail to: Harriette Cole, c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Letter Writing Best Practice: State clearly what steps you have already attempted. If you have already spoken to the person involved, say so directly. This prevents the columnist from recommending basic troubleshooting steps you have already tried, allowing them to provide deeper, more actionable guidance.
Syndicated Advice Columns Compared
UExpress and competing syndicates offer a variety of advice columns, each with its own focus, tone, and editorial style. The table below illustrates how the column compares to other leading nationally syndicated advice features.
| Column Name | Primary Author / Voice | Distributing Syndicate / Platform | Primary Editorial Focus | Tone and Approach | Update Frequency |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dear Harriette | Harriette Cole | Andrews McMeel Syndication / UExpress | Relationships, workplace dynamics, modern boundaries | Direct, empathetic, practical, and action-oriented | Daily (7 days a week) |
| Dear Abby | Jeanne Phillips (orig. Pauline Phillips) | Andrews McMeel Syndication / UExpress | General life advice, social dilemmas, marriage | Traditional, punchy, pragmatic, concise | Daily (7 days a week) |
| Miss Manners | Judith Martin (with Nicholas & Jacob Martin) | Andrews McMeel Syndication / UExpress | Formal etiquette, protocol, social manners | Ironic, formal, erudite, witty | 6 days a week |
| Ask Amy | Amy Dickinson (Archives & Retrospectives) | Tribune Content Agency | Family dynamics, parenting, emotional healing | Warm, conversational, literary, introspective | Varies by publication archive |
| Carolyn Hax | Carolyn Hax | The Washington Post / Syndicated | Psychological boundaries, family friction, relationships | Analytical, psychologically acute, unsentimental | Daily (7 days a week) |
| Annie's Mailbox / Dear Annie | Annie Lane | Creators Syndicate | Everyday domestic issues, addictions, social health | Encouraging, straightforward, community-resource focused | Daily (7 days a week) |
Accessing the Column: Platforms and Archives
Readers can read and search past installations of the column across several official channels:
1. UExpress Digital Platform
UExpress serves as the primary digital home for Andrews McMeel Syndication content. The digital archive organizes columns chronologically by date. Each entry features reader comments, related syndication feeds, and sharing options for social media. Readers can browse recent archives without a paid paywall, making it the most accessible source for the daily feature.
2. Daily Local Print and Digital Newspapers
Major metropolitan and community newspapers license the column for their daily features or lifestyle sections. Depending on the publication, the column appears in print editions or behind subscriber digital paywalls.
3. Harriette Cole’s Official Multimedia Platforms
Harriette Cole also shares excerpts, deeper video discussions, and podcast episodes expanding on her written advice through her official website and social media profiles. These platforms provide additional context on reader letters, offering extended discussions that build on the newspaper column.
A Standard Framework for Reader Problem-Solving
Readers can resolve many interpersonal dilemmas on their own by applying the analytical approach Cole uses in her responses. When facing social, professional, or familial conflict, walk through these four stages:
Assess Intent vs. Impact -> Establish Clear Boundaries -> Deliver Direct Communication -> Choose Your Action
Stage 1: Clarify the Reality of the Situation
Separate immediate emotions from the observable facts of the incident. Ask yourself:
- Is this an intentional offense, or is it an innocent misunderstanding caused by poor communication?
- Has this friction occurred repeatedly, or is it an isolated incident?
- Am I reacting to what this person actually did, or am I projecting frustrations from past relationships?
Stage 2: Define Personal Boundaries
Determine what behavior you will and will not accept moving forward. A boundary is not a rule designed to control someone else's actions; it is a clear statement of how you will protect your own peace and well-being when those actions happen.
Stage 3: Have the Conversation Directly
Address the issue with the individual privately and calmly rather than complaining to third parties or venting on social media.
- Frame statements using personal perspective ("I felt disrespected when...") rather than inflammatory accusations ("You always ruin...").
- Clearly describe the specific behavior you want to change, and confirm that the other person understands your perspective.
Stage 4: Follow Through with Consistency
An unenforced boundary invites continued mistreatment. If an in-law, coworker, or acquaintance repeatedly ignores your stated preferences, follow through with the consequences you established, whether that means ending a conversation, declining invitations, or escalating the matter to human resources.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where can I read the Dear Harriette column online for free?
You can read the column for free on the official UExpress website (uexpress.com/life/dear-harriette).
The platform updates daily with her latest column, alongside searchable archives containing previous responses organized by publication date.
How do I submit an advice request to Harriette Cole?
You can submit a question by emailing dearharriette@harriettecole.com or by using the contact and submission forms available on the UExpress platform.
To improve the likelihood of your letter being published, keep your submission concise (under 300 words), clearly identify the main conflict, explain what steps you have already taken, and sign off with a descriptive pseudonym.
Does Harriette Cole personally answer every letter sent to the column?
No, she does not provide private, individual answers to every letter due to the high volume of correspondence she receives.
A small fraction of submissions are selected for syndication and answered publicly in the column. Letters selected for publication are edited for clarity, length, and reader anonymity.
What is the relationship between Dear Harriette and UExpress?
UExpress is the digital syndication platform operated by Andrews McMeel Universal, the entity that syndicates the column to print and online news outlets worldwide.
UExpress hosts the author's official daily digital releases, manages syndicated content distribution, and archives her past columns alongside other well-known features like Dear Abby and Miss Manners.
What topics are covered in the Dear Harriette column?
The column focuses on modern etiquette, family conflict, professional workplace manners, marriage issues, dating, and interpersonal boundaries.
Unlike columns that focus strictly on traditional social decorum, it emphasizes practical boundary-setting, empathetic communication, and the complex realities of modern, culturally diverse lives.
Resolving Interpersonal Friction
Navigating modern social, family, and workplace relationships requires clear communication and healthy boundaries. If you are dealing with a challenging interpersonal dilemma, write down the facts of the situation, identify the boundary you need to set, and draft a concise, focused submission to the column. Following published advice can give you an objective, seasoned perspective to help you resolve your conflict with dignity and self-respect.
